I yelled ‘SHUT UP’ at the kids this morning. I don’t normally. It’s not something I like to do and it’s certainly not something I plan on doing often, but they were in an emotional, not to mention LOUD, gridlock over a situation that neither could let go of. They bickered so angrily and loudly… it was going nowhere. A1 was resolute that he was right and that only his logic made sense, while A2 was progressively getting more and more frustrated, his fists were poised to beat his older brother, his tears were spilling out of his eyes and he was shaking with anger.
It was not pretty.
It would not stop.
It was so incredibly loud.
I yelled “shut up!!!!!!!!!!” which did shut them up, but of course my children reminded me that my yelling shut up at them was sort of not the best way to handle things, which I acknowledged. It took all my energy and headspace to have them agree to hug it out and declare a truce until they returned from school.
I did piece together the situation: A1 had asked A2 to go in with him on a game. $20 each. A2 said okay, but then over time realized that the game was attached to A1’s account so all the earned V bucks (I’m saying this, but I don’t really know what it means) goes to A1’s account. A1 feels like this was the deal and the deal was that A2 would get to play whenever he wanted. And that he would have never purchased the game all on his own. But A2 felt like he paid half but wasn’t really getting half, so he wanted his $20 back. They could not and would not see each other’s point of view and just kept going round and round in circles.
So let me ask you, my dear readers (all 2 of you), what would be a good resolution?
Coincidentally, another mother was describing almost the same morning with her two boys and she had to take away their screen time privileges. I shared their story with them and hinted that I could potentially solve this problem… neither of them liked the idea that I might be able to solve their fight with a very simple idea involving getting rid of what they were arguing over…
P. S. We finally did reach one, whew, but it was not easy. It involved a lot of ‘trying to understand the other person’s perspective’ type of side discussions… a lot of humour… some analogies (‘so, if you guys bought a condo building together, each paying $20 million, does that mean A2 doesn’t get the rental income from the tenants?’ ‘yeah, but I would give him the rental income until he gets his investment back’)… walking through and testing out their logic (‘so in real life if you make a deal and realize you don’t like it afterwards, you can just get out of the deal?’ ‘yeah, but this is not real life’).