Finally! I Started Qi Gong!


My mother is one of those people who never stops learning, who never stops caring about self-improvement, and who always wants to share something she learned so that you can be a better you (healthier or happier).

Many years ago, when I was still in high school and living at home, my mother discovered Qi Gong.  She espoused how amazing it was and how much it helped improve her health.  She also wanted me to meditate or do Tai Chi, okay, she wanted me to pretty much do anything at all to work on strengthening my health.  Being young and fairly healthy, I sort of agreed with her but never felt a super strong desire to do it.  I took a class or two, sometimes I halfheartedly copied some movements from her and then would just nod off to sleep. My motivation level was low and therefore my attempts to do this ‘stuff’ was not the best.

Well, decades later, last year, when my blood tests came back with some results that made me realize, wait a minute, I’m not getting any younger and my body is not happy with me, I knew that it was time to start being more serious about focusing on my health.  I’m not 25 anymore and I can’t just eat whatever I want, sleep how little I want, or be sedentary without pretty bad repercussions.

A few years ago I did start up Kung Fu, which I still love, but am having problems staying motivated to keep learning… it helped with my health a lot, but it can’t help if I’m not doing it!  Yes, I took another hiatus, and that’s a story for another time.  But this time, I decided to start up Qi Gong and Gentle Kung Fu.  I know I can do this.  I love the flow of movement in these two art forms and I love how I feel after I’ve done it.  Loving this and have incorporated this into my daily routine by getting up earlier by an hour each day.

There are even studies now about the benefits of Qi Gong and specifically Shaolin’s Ba Duan Jing version that we are learning: like meta study or reducing neck pain.

Mom: after decades of you telling me to do this… I’m finally doing this!


That Was Then, This Is Now

Now halfway through my second term at Kung Fu class, I can look back over the past 6 months and say, ooh, I see some good changes!

Relationship with Food

Then: I used to literally be on a SEE FOOD diet.  I mean it.  I see food, I want it.  I see food, I eat it.  I see food, it calls to me.  By name.

Now: Since starting Kung Fu, I’ve managed to break my terrible habit of raiding the fridge around 10 pm for leftovers and eating surreptitiously with one ear listening for my husband’s footsteps coming down the stairs. My meal portions are still largish, but I am proud to say that I no longer eat after dinner.  It’s just ‘not something I do’.

Relationship with House

Then: My relationship with the disaster zone I call home has changed.  As soon as I saw the mess that faced me when I came home from work, I would roar at my husband and the kids: Why are there socks here? Why am I stepping on legos? Why is this pile of papers still here from 3 weeks ago? Why is there dust on this shelf? Why am I the only one who cares about cleanliness around here?!?!?

Now: After half a year of beginner kung fu and a little meditation, I can honestly say that my anger button has retreated slightly.  I still want to roar and on occasion I still do roar, but the thoughts that go through my head are more like: aw, dinner smells great, hey, the boys look so happy, ooh, the laundry is done! maybe I’ll do some organizing or cleaning this weekend.

Relationship with Saturday Morning

Then: Once upon a time, I dragged myself out of bed to get the boys to their Kung Fu class.  When I first started my class, I would wake up each Saturday wondering if I had a good enough excuse to skip class, but I really couldn’t because I had to get the boys to class and my commitment to their health was a priority.

Now: I eagerly look forward to the torture that our instructor wants to put us through. I do my best and I don’t compare myself to others in the class.  As a side note, we are getting new students every week, young, in shape and strong classmates.  They push me to be better.

Relationship with Class

Then: I was so embarrassed all the time, not being able to finish class without sitting out, not being as good as I knew I could be. The thoughts in my head were all about how badly I was holding back the class and how slow I was and how hard I was breathing when I should be in better shape…

Now?  My instructor called on me to lead one of the lines!  She reminds me that my stamina has improved. When she says “if you feel this is easy, push yourself” and I feel like I can, I lift higher, I jump higher, I hold longer, I go lower… And if I can’t, I just focus on getting myself through class in one piece!

Relationship with My Clothes

Then: Nothing looked good on me.  My 200+ pounds poked and rolled and flabbed no matter what I wore.  Even wearing all black couldn’t hide how out of shape I was.

Now: I have lost those first (last in first out?) 10 pounds over the past 6 months.  But more importantly, my clothes fit me better.  My goal is no longer about losing weight, but to feel good about walking into a room with a confident smile and whatever clothes I’m wearing.  I can wear shoes with higher heels without hurting at the end of the day. I can wear a skirt without feeling ashamed of my body. I can look forward to a time when I love the way I look.  Not there yet, but I’m on my journey there.

Relationship with Me

Then: I came last. Every. Single. Person. Came. Before. Me.

And now: I make sure I get my me time.  I make sure that I like myself.  I make sure that I speak to myself with a little kindness and respect.